Pete’s Senior Funnies

A social worker from Boston recently transferred to the Mountains of Montana and was on first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.  Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. “Anybody home?” she asked. “Yep,” came a kid’s voice through the door. “Is your father there?” asked the social worker. “Pa?  Nope, he left afore Ma came in,” said the kid. “Well, is your mother there?” persisted the social worker. “Ma?  Nope, she left just afore I got here,” said the kid. “But,” protested the social worker, “are you never together as a family?” “Sure, but not here,” said the kid through the door.  “This here’s the outhouse!”

Duane “Pete” Pettersen, Pettersen Insurance Agency

 

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

The young guy says, “That’s OK, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too… I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”

The old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her… what does she look like?”

The young guy says, “Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom..wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does YOUR wife look like?’

To which the old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, —let’s look for yours.”

 

WHAT A RELIEF TO LEARN THIS….. Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was?

Turns out, DOORS themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what’s known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next.  Your brain files away the thought you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.

It’s not aging, it’s the stupid door!  Thank goodness for studies like this. !Now what were we talking about?

 

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. “Yes, Dad, what is it?”  “Don’t be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife…”  (I LOVE IT!)

 

Pete Pettersen on said:Edit

RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED MIND I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.  I can’t afford one.  So, I’m wearing my garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is “when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it”.

 

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.”

Some people try to turn back their odometers.  Not me!  I want people to know WHY I look this way.  I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

“Humor is always good and seems to be more important as I get older. If you like this, let me know by responding on this blog.”  

 Duane “Pete” Pettersen

Pettersen Insurance Agency, Missoula, MT

 

 

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