It can be difficult to know when it’s time to move to an assisted living community. Many primarily independent seniors move when they start to need help with activities of daily living, such as bathing and dressing. However, this isn’t the only reason. Some seniors move to combat loneliness by finding ways to stay engaged at an assisted living community. For other families, concerns with medication management or home safety may lead them to consider assisted living. These 11 signs can help you figure out whether assisted living is right for your loved one.
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Activities of daily living (ADLs), such as dressing, bathing, and using the toilet present frequent concerns for seniors. Approximately 13.4% of adults 75+ needed personal care assistance in 2023, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).[01]
Assisted living communities provide help with these daily tasks, which benefits both seniors and their caregivers. Linda Lagesse, 78, served as her husband’s sole caregiver for nearly four years. An inability to assist with ADLs motivated her to contact A Place for Mom’s Senior Living Advisors to find assisted living for her husband.
“I bathed him. I dressed him. I tried to help him get exercise,” Lagesse recalls. “I was exhausted. It just got to be a lot.”
Errors in medication management can pose a real danger for seniors: The CDC estimates 600,000 seniors over 65 visit emergency rooms each year due to misuse of prescriptions.[02] Maureen Bradley, a former executive director for senior living communities who now supports new Senior Living Advisors at A Place for Mom, notes that medication management is an excellent service that assisted living provides.
Assisted living communities can give reminders to residents to take their medications on time, or administer the medicines to residents if needed. This helps ensure that each senior takes the correct medicine at the right dose and time.
“It’s very important to find out how medication management is administered, as there are subtle differences from one community to the next. For example, some communities require that residents use a certain pharmacy because that makes it easier for the communities to track and store medications. Also, in terms of cost, some of the communities include medication management in their base pricing and others charge for it separately,” says Bradley.
In general, seniors in assisted living are mostly independent, but they may need help with brushing their teeth, taking their medications, showering, or with other activities of daily living. Seniors may also choose assisted living for socialization and mental stimulation. To see if your loved one would thrive in an assisted living setting, nurses typically perform a pre-move assessment.
Barbara Levison, a geriatric care manager and the president of Florida’s Aging Life Care Association chapter, urges families and caregivers to educate themselves on the various types of care available and the many differences between those options.
“If your loved one is experiencing cognitive decline and needs constant supervision, then they would need memory care as opposed to an assisted living facility,” says Levison. “Also, if it’s difficult for them to hold a conversation, they would be more comfortable in a memory care facility where residents have similar abilities.”
Bradley notes that assisted living facilities may not be ideal for seniors with advanced medical needs. Instead, these seniors might need a nursing home.
“Certain medical conditions are not a good fit for assisted living. That being said, not every assisted living community accepts or rejects the same kinds of care needs. Each community makes its own determination about how much care is too much. Some common medical conditions that are beyond the normal scope of care for assisted living include advanced dementia, any conditions that require a permanent IV, serious or multiple wounds, and comorbidities, which is multiple serious medical conditions at once,” Bradley says.
If your loved one is living at home, they may have little social interaction with other people their age, which can lead to loneliness and depression. Seniors in assisted living, however, often form connections with other residents, staff members, or even community pets.
“Older adults [in assisted living] have the opportunity to interact with people their own age throughout the day,” says Bradley. “They’re also exposed to people of different generations in the form of staff and visiting family and friends. Many communities are pet friendly, which allows folks the chance to enjoy furry friends. Even if a resident doesn’t have a dog of their own, for example, they can enjoy their neighbor’s.”
These friendships can help prevent senior isolation, as well as increase a senior’s likelihood of participating in enriching activities. Assisted living communities encourage residents to get involved with senior-friendly activities like fitness classes, happy hours, game nights, and more.
If it has become difficult to coordinate care for your loved one, it may signal the need for assisted living. For instance, before his move to assisted living, Lagesse’s husband experienced frequent health issues that continued to land him in the hospital.
“He kept getting sick, which meant that he was not getting the care he needed from me,” Lagesse said.
In addition to the emotional and physical toll of these hospitalizations, her husband’s regular appointments with many doctors and specialists could become overwhelming.
To simplify this process, assisted living communities help coordinate care for residents. Doctors, physical therapists, and other health professionals may even provide their services within the community. For residents who wish to continue to see their own doctors and care providers, many communities provide transportation to nearby clinics.
Additionally, Bradley notes that care staff are in frequent communication with a resident’s physician.
“Assisted living facilities excel at care coordination. They’re often better at keeping physicians informed than families or home caregivers were. This is because they have regulations or systems in place where they fax accident and incident reports to the doctor, as well as medication records, just by regular course,” says Bradley.
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Daily chores and home upkeep can raise stress significantly for ailing seniors and their caregivers. Home repairs can be complex and expensive, and may be unsafe for seniors. If you start to notice that your loved one’s home is always messy, assisted living might be the right move.
Assisted living communities remove these responsibilities by providing services like:
Seniors at home may lack the energy or resources to grocery shop. It’s also common for seniors living alone to lose interest in cooking. This can have negative effects on senior nutrition and can lead to things like unintentional weight loss or gain. Seniors on specialized diets, such low- or no-salt, may have additional health problems. In assisted living, seniors can enjoy nutritious meals without the hassle of cooking. Meals are often a social event where residents can dine with their friends.
Dining in assisted living is flexible, too. You can find the following features and options in most assisted living communities:
It’s necessary to consider how caregiving affects you or the family caregiver. Unfortunately, caregivers are often the last to notice their own burnout and fatigue. In these situations, family members and friends can act as accountability partners in protecting their mental and emotional health.
“One of my friends stayed with my husband so that I could get away for a couple of days,” Lagesse recalls. “When I got home, he met me at the front door and said, ‘Linda, you cannot continue to do this. This is too much.’ That was really the turning point. It was eight days later that my husband ended up back in the hospital. I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t continue to do what I was doing.”
Levison encourages families to act sooner rather than later if they think it’s time for assisted living.
“In my experience, families and caregivers often wait until things are progressing to a breaking point before looking for assisted living options,” says Levison. And, she adds, both senior well-being and caregiver mental health may be strained by the time many families begin looking for care.
Many homes aren’t built with seniors in mind. Your loved one may have a bedroom upstairs that’s becoming difficult for them to access, smaller hallways that aren’t wheelchair or walker friendly, or a bathtub that’s become difficult to step into.
A big advantage of assisted living communities is that they’re designed to meet the needs of seniors. The following are common features of assisted living communities:
Bradley notes that the need for these safety features may vary by resident, but it’s still something she appreciates in an assisted living community.
“Even for people who may not need those features today, it’s wise to choose communities that offer them in case needs change over time,” Bradley says.
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While the perspective of family and friends can play a pivotal role, some caregivers and seniors might want a medical evaluation. In these scenarios, seeking counsel from your loved one’s doctor can give much-needed insight.
For Lagesse, this meant reaching out to her husband’s cardiologist and his primary care physician, both of whom supported her in moving her husband to assisted living.
Just as a doctor’s opinion can comfort a caregiver, it can also boost a senior’s confidence and enthusiasm in the decision to move to assisted living. Seniors are more likely than people of other ages to trust their doctors, according to a 2023 survey.[03]
In Bradley’s opinion, it’s time for assisted living when the need for help outweighs the resources available.
“As we age, we start to need help with ADLs, basic housework, and home maintenance. At first, family and friends can be asked to help. It even makes sense, for a time, to consider home care as a means of support. But at some point, the cost of assistance — be it financial or just a time drain on the family — becomes too great. At that point, it makes sense to consider assisted living,” says Bradley.
It can be difficult to know if you’ve reached this point, but the following questions can help:
If you’ve answered yes to these questions, you may be at the point where it makes sense to consider an assisted living facility.
Bradley notes that this can be very difficult for families to realize.
“Even though caring for a loved one can be incredibly demanding and difficult, it’s also hard to let go. This is a very common occurrence. I’d recommend that caregivers make a plan to visit their loved ones regularly, but make a concerted effort to keep the visits social in nature. That can be having lunch, playing Bingo together, enjoying a movie, going for a walk or any number of other activities. When I was an executive director, I used to say to family members, ‘Let us be the caregivers. That’s what you’re paying us for. You just concentrate on being the daughter again.’”
If you think assisted living could be right for your loved one, you may be wondering what your next steps should be. Moving to assisted living is a big life change for both you and your loved one, but don’t shy away from the challenge.
The following steps are helpful to keep in mind as you navigate this change with your parent:
Most seniors need assisted living between the ages of 75 and 84, and the average age of an assisted living resident is 87. This is generally when seniors begin needing more help with activities of daily living.
It’s unclear whether people live longer at home or in an assisted living community. One study at the University of Chicago indicates that seniors living in a community outlive seniors who age in place. It often depends on the senior’s quality of life, quality of care, and other health concerns.
It’s best to plan a move to an assisted living community before your loved one falls. Once falls and accidents happen, you have less time to make an assisted living decision.
The length of time it takes for a person to adjust to assisted living varies from weeks to months. You can help with the transition to assisted living by helping your parent choose items to bring with them, planning post-move visits, and being available to talk with them about this change.
The best age to move to an assisted living community will vary for each senior, but generally the best time to move in is when they need help with more than one activity of daily living. For context, half of assisted living residents are over 85.
If your parents refuse assisted living, do your best to stay calm and patient. Talk to your parent to understand why they don’t want to move. Most importantly, remember that this decision is theirs to make, and they may need time to think it through.
Key Takeaways
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. National Center for Health Statistics. Percentage of any difficulty with self care for adults aged 18 and over, United States, 2019—2022. National Health Interview Survey. Generated interactively.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, April 17). Faststats: Medication safety data.
Katz, E., Edelstein, B., & Turiano, N.A. (2023, July 2). Age as a moderator of health outcomes and trust in physicians. Journal of Aging and Health.
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